|
[04 Oct 2006|11:45am] |
or
apparently me and faith hill look alike.
|
|
| [things you learn] |
[13 Aug 2006|07:43am] |
1. don't let drunk people in your car.
2. if you do let a drunk person in your car, watch out where you pull oevr, they might get poison ivy.
3. when your friends call you at one in the morning needing aa ride home, go get them.
4. don't let anyone drink alone.
5. don't talk about meaningful stuff while intoxicated.
6. know when to tell someone you love them.
7. don't regret the past, look forward to the furture.
8. take every oppurtunity that comes your way.
9. dance. sing. laugh.
10. sometimes you struggle for a reason.
|
|
| to be young and in love... |
[17 Jul 2006|01:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 touched |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"cost of maine" ivory |
] |
how do you put everything into perspective when everything in your heart contradicts everything you feel?
i want love, but i want it to be perfect.
i want commitment, but i want room to breathe and make mistakes.
i want to grow up and get married, have some kids, and some pets, but i want to be young and live fast.
i want to know what lies ahead, but i'm scared of tomorrow.
i want laughter and to smile endlessley, but i want to be taken seriously and to have control.
i'm a living, breathing paradox. how can everything i want contradict everything i...want?
i'll be 20 years old in april. i will no longer be a teenager.
when i was 6 i saved my brother from drowning.
when i was 8 i moved to gorham, and i had my first crush on a boy.
when i was 9, i met liz mackie, one of my best friends.
when i was 10 i got an award from the NASA student involvement program.
when i was 11 my world that dwelled on my family turned upside down.
when i was 13 i had my frist kiss.
when i was 14 i experienced my first love.
when i was 15 i experienced my first heartache.
when i was 17 i found out what sadness really was.
when i was 18 i met chris seavey, my best friend. when i was 18 i also found hope when i felt hopeless.
now being 19, i look back and i wonder if every major/minor life event is really nutrimental or detrimental to my current life.
why am i afraid to commit, when in my heart i already am?
why am i refusing to come to terms about how i feel, when it's apparent to the world around me?
being young and wild is so sensationalized that it impairs my ability and willingness to commit to any one person. it scares me to think that secruity with ones self for some people is intrusted into another and becomes a number in which provides ones ego with enough fuel to make them sleep at night.
but to take the chaos from these years of my life would be destroying the beauty of it.
to want to love and be loved back unconditionally takes patience and determination and may prove folly.
[inspired by the possiblity of the world ending in 2012 and how it made me feel tonight]
|
|
| [my promise] |
[05 Jul 2006|04:39pm] |
there's been too much going on.
i think i've gotten wrapped up in myself.
and i don't like it.
and i only have myself to blame.
i let people leave my life that i shouldn't of, and i let people in who don't derserve it.
i'm trying to fix it.
i'm trying to make everything right.
just give me some time.
i'll show you that i can make it alright again.
this entry is basically for two people.
one of them i hurt a lot because i didn't want to see it from any other point of view so i chose someone else over her, which was wrong.
the other one will always have a piece of my heart. (not brandon)and was the first guy that i ever really cared about on all levels. and he probably doesn't even know who he is because i've fucked things up so bad. made myself look like an ass and basically convinced him that i'm really this person i've portrayed for the past 8 months.
|
|
|
[23 Jun 2006|01:10am] |
if people can't grow up and live life, i don't want them in mine.
endpoint.
|
|
| whirlwind. amazing. :-) |
[26 Apr 2006|09:23pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ben harper "waiting for you" |
] |
i've been waiting for you,
i've been waiting for you,
never found anytnhing else to do...
but waiting for you.
i've been calling your name,
i've been calling your name,
never found anything else the same, nothings the same...
you can kill a lot of time if you really wanna put your mind to it,
and leave it all behind if you never want to go through it.
i keep hearing your name,
i keep hearing your name,
nothing else sounds the same...
as hearing your name...
you can kill a lot of time if you really wanna put your mind to it,
and leave it all behind if you never want to go through it...
i've been hoping for you,
keep hoping for you.
what else can i do?
but keep hoping for you?
you can kill a lot of time if you really wanna put your mind to it...
and leave it all behind if you never want to go through it...
we can kill a lot of time, and never really have to go through it...
what else can i do, but keep waiting for you?...
AZ?
i think so.
|
|
| HEART TRANSPLANT |
[09 Apr 2006|05:24am] |
one of the only livejournal entries i will be making again:
my sister got a heart.
i got a call at about 11 and she told me she got a heart.
i was lucky enough to have chris, ryan, nick, nicole and charlie right there with me.
as soon as i got the news chris was right there making sure i was ok.
he drove me down here to be with my sister.
he stayed with me until about 5am.
kerri will be going into surgery soon.
this is a blessing on so many levels.
i just wanted everyone to know, because i know if i missed anyone, it would be my ass.
love and junk
-.liza
|
|
|
[20 Feb 2006|10:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"masterpiece" meg and dia |
] |
the song i entered, it isn't bad.
it's good.
for me it symbolizes my new beginning.
self confidence.
a smile and a laugh that melts me.
a best friend.
a best friends boyfriend.
a new circle of friends. some old ones.
my live journal career is probably coming to an end.
it seems too drama filled.
too sad.
and i'm not.
i love to sing at the top of my lungs.
i like to watch the sunrise at 4 am.
i don't sleep until morning.
i live for the nights and mornings with my friends.
i like to sit back, have a couple, meet new people and love new people.
i enjoy listening more than talking.
i cut my own hair.
i work 40 hours a week. (i may become a shiftleader now)
i want to travel.
i want to leave this mess, and all the messy people.
i live my life because i don't care anymore.
i just don't care.
it's too short.
i need this.
i've changed.
and i won't lie.
i've drifted quite aways apart from most of you.
and the ones who matter to me now, i will keep in touch with.
to the rest of you:
have an amazing life, you deserve it!!!
|
|
| -.how i feel: |
[20 Feb 2006|10:16pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the format "the first single" |
] |
"The First Single"
I can't stand to think about a heart so big it hurts like hell
Oh my god I gave my best but for three whole years to end like this
Well do you want to fall apart? I can't stop if you cant start
Do you want to fall apart? I could if you can try to fix what I've undone
Cause I hate what I've become
[Chorus]
You know me, oh you think you do you just don't seem to see
I've been waiting all this time to be, something I can't define
So let's cause a scene, clap our hands and stomp our feet or something,
yeah something I've just got to get myself over me
I could stand to do without, all the people I have left behind
What's the point in going around when it's a straight line baby, a straight line down
So let's make a list of who we need and we'll throw it away
'Cause we don't need anyone, no we don't need anyone
[Chorus]
And I hate what I've become.
You know the night life is just not for me
'Cause all you really need are a few good friends
I don't want to go out and be on my own,
You know they started something I can't stand
You leave for the city,
Well count me out
'Cause all this time is wasted on everything I've done
[Chorus x2]
Yeah
Over me
Yeah
Over me
|
|
| -i didn't know what i was looking for, so i didn't know what i'd find |
[19 Feb 2006|11:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
jack johnson "broken" |
] |
so...
all has been well.
finally.
i've been having awesome times.
i've reached a point where i kind find peace, in a life where there isn't any peace at all.
i think being out of highschool is the best thing thats happened to me.
to walk around in hallways full of drones and sluts and conformists wasn't doing me any good.
i thought for a while that i needed highschool and i missed it. but then i realized, you only need what you think you need.
the friends i have now, i wasn't even friends with in highschool. and the friends i had in high school have all become too self absorbed (with the exception of a few) and too wound up in their own lives. and fake.
everyone i have now, they're real.
i didn't hang out with krista until highschool was over. now she's my best friend.
i didn't meet chris until about two weeks ago. and i've told him a hell of a lot more than i've told most of the people reading this, and most of my other friends.
growing up is easier when you have people around you who you love, and that you know love you.
and for anyone still in highschool who is reading this (katie, specifically) : be yourself. fuck what other people think. you're great as you are, and don't try to change or conform for anyone who will eventually leave your life. it's not worth it, just be happy being you.
jack johnson sums it up the best:
"With everything ahead of us
We left everything behind
But nothing that we needed
At least not at this time
And now the feeling that I'm feeling
Well it's feeling like my life is finally mine
With nothing to go back to we just continue to drive
Without you I was broken
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side
I didn't know what I was looking for
So I didn't know what I'd find
I didn't know what I was missing
I guess you've been just a little too kind
And if I find just what I need
I'll put a little peace in my mind
Maybe you've been looking too
Or maybe you don't even need to try
Without you I was broken
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side
With everything in the past
Fading faster and faster until it was gone
Found out I was losing so much more than I knew all along
Because everything I've been working for
Was only worth nickels and dimes
But if I had a minute for every hour that I've wasted
I'd be rich in time, I'd be doing fine
Without you I was broken
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side"
|
|
|
[12 Feb 2006|01:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
coheed and cambria "the suffering" |
] |
so....
i'm totally cool with the idea of valentine's day this year.
i mean, i don't have anyone, but it's chill.
because i'm happy.
i've been hanging outw ith Krista, Chris and Ryan a lot. and I enjoy it so much. Ryan and Chris are such cool guys, and of course i love Krista to death, she's one of my closest friends. We have fun. And Krista is happy, which i'm really happy about, because she's needed it.
and i guess that i know i don't need anyone because well... i'm having a great time being single. plus i really like someone right now, and i think he's really cool. and we laugh a lot when we hang out, which i like. i'm not a very patient person, but this time i think i'll try.
i'm a lot happier with brandon out of my life.
i feel terrible for saying that, and even worse for knowing it's true, but i really am 100% happier with him gone. and this time i don't even feel anything towards him. i don't even hate him. there's nothing. i guess it just wore on me too much and burnt out.
anyways.
i'm really happy for right now.
i hope it stays this way for awhile.
♥
|
|
| -.from ash |
[05 Feb 2006|07:27am] |
|
If you read this, comment with 3 things you'd like me to take a picture of. This can be anything from something in my house, to something you'd like to see me doing, to a picture of the sky. I will post all the pictures in my next post.
|
|
| -.i can't let go, i can't get out |
[01 Feb 2006|11:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
eve 6 "think twice" |
] |
Mk2s2 (11:32:06 PM): lol well anywys
Chica041987 (11:32:25 PM): so anyways
Chica041987 (11:32:29 PM): if i get knocked up
Chica041987 (11:32:34 PM): im giving the kid to you
Chica041987 (11:32:43 PM): you and nellie can have it, pretend its yours
Chica041987 (11:32:43 PM): haha
Mk2s2 (11:33:11 PM): ill be so far on the other side of the world with a backpack and a bottle of jd ittl be amazing
Chica041987 (11:33:23 PM): exactly, you can take the kid too
Chica041987 (11:33:27 PM): teach it useless shit
Chica041987 (11:33:28 PM): lol
Mk2s2 (11:34:02 PM): i want it after its 6
Mk2s2 (11:34:23 PM): do you promise me if you have a kid i get it after its 6
Chica041987 (11:34:45 PM): haha, only if you steal me some shit for before its 6
Mk2s2 (11:34:47 PM): http://www.statravel.com/cps/rde/xchg/us_division_web_live/
Chica041987 (11:34:48 PM): lol
Mk2s2 (11:34:49 PM): best place for cheap tickets
Mk2s2 (11:35:05 PM): haha
Chica041987 (11:35:21 PM): but yeah, if i have a kid, you get it when its 6
Mk2s2 (11:35:21 PM): seriously next time your in boston they have an office on newburry street
Mk2s2 (11:35:25 PM): just be like
Mk2s2 (11:35:29 PM): "where can i go for 6 bucks"
Chica041987 (11:35:46 PM): lol
Chica041987 (11:36:55 PM): god it would be so cool if you did take my kid when its 6, then id get it back when its all tom like and doesnt want to be held down
Chica041987 (11:37:11 PM): and wants to travel back to egypt in BC times and build helicopters
Mk2s2 (11:37:49 PM): damn right
|
|
|
[30 Jan 2006|06:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"waste my time" ryan huston |
] |
So I, turn my back on all of the, stupid games that you play
so i just won't go there with you, you should know it's not my way
All i do in front of you is just act the part that you say
never again will i be played the puppet starting today
you say goodbye and i won't need you, i won't call you
you think there's always something more there is to say
Don't ever waste my time
when you dont care and i'm
thinking of me this time
and i am more than just fine
difference between you and i
is i'll never play with your mind
i'll tell you truth never lies,
i guess this is my goodbye
Next time, you see me i'll be on the, cover of' some magazine
you'll hear a song on the radio, realize then it's me
you'll see what we had back then before you felt you had to see
what else was there, for you with someone else i hope you're happy
Pre-Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
One day when you're all alone you will find yourself thinking of me
then you will just realize that i, was the man of your dreams...
Chorus
some "friends" just aren't real friends at all.
|
|
| still feel you on the inside, biting through and stinging |
[28 Jan 2006|08:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
soundgarden "burden in my hand" |
] |
so, live journal hasn't been working for me at all the past week.
it's ok.
i didn't miss it much.
and ash, i agree about the shift button. it's a pain in the ass, and that's why i never have anything capitalized unless i want to emphasize it.
so.
uhh.
life's been interesting?
a lot of the stuff you have to ask me about in person.
uhh.
i'm irritated a lot easier lately.
like...by stupid things, such as:
boys who gel the shit out of their hair.
girls who lie for attention.
people who want the same piercing as me. it's my piercing. my thought. fcuk off. kthanksbye.
gossip. because i don't give a fuck. quite honestly.
(i think silence is perfect.)
people who im me, and then leave the conversation up to me.
people falling in love in .00002 seconds.
over emo girls.
boys who wear chick pants and have long DIRTY hair.
guys who over compensate for their lack of getting any by drowning themselves in disgusting scents.
people who try to be cool, here's a hint, if you have to try to be cool, you aren't and never will be cool.
movie remakes.
basically, i'm pretty unimpressed with our society lately.
everyone needs to stop trying to be something.
because it's all nothing.
get over yourselves.
|
|
|
[26 Jan 2006|02:14am] |
shawn was only temporarily paralyzed.
thank god.
the wake was depressing.
the service even more so.
they will bury her in the spring.
"miss me but let me go"
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
e_ch_o_419's journal
crushed
gloomy
